Okay less of a cleaver and more a set of knives its alright I’m not a serial killer..I’m a chef…you probably thinking fine you can call it whatever you want your the one wielding the knife that’s not a cleaver….but no really I’m a chef.

Having recently relocated from the sunny Mediterranean back home to the cold windy UK I’ve been trawling the job market tirelessly and by that I mean a catering agency has been doing the tireless trawling for me…got a call in the evening about a job the next day early in the morning which I jumped at like an addict would on crack if that said addict was a crack addict but I digress…I probably should have played hard to get or least found out the details..but a job is money and experience to overload my CV with okay I wasn’t thinking past the money but whatever I’m not ashamed to admit it.

Anyways they texted me back with the details and thanks to my BFF google maps I planed my route so I wont have to wonder around aimlessly but more importantly I won’t have to get up out of a warm bed earlier….got to love technology helping to make humans lazy and useless for the inevitable cat takeover…because lets face at this point would anyone mind being the pet I’ve had pets cats and dogs owner is not an appropriate name more like slave…and seriously pet is not a good description little masters more like it they have their food brought to them shit cleaned after them groomed and pampered oh yes bring on the life of luxury….but knowing sods law that bastard insists on slapping me continuously over the face…it will only be the rich and beautiful humans that get to be pampered while the rest of us will be homeless strays rummaging around alleys and gardens for some kindness from crazy human loving felines.

But anyway this eager beaver is off to work tomorrow with sharpened knives ready to cleaver some fruit and vegetables….any humans probably shouldn’t try to mess with me I love cats.